As most of you know, we are pregnant and having a boy in July! I would like to take you back to the day I found out. The utter shock I experienced! I had been to a new doctor right before Greyson turned two, March 2014. I had lots of questions about the future and my infertility. I didn't feel good, struggled with my weight and just wanted to know what could help me feel better. This was the first time seeing this doctor. She listened and was very helpful. She had suggested that I go gluten free. Apparently, there is a correlation with wheat/gluten and ovulation. I was one of those people that just rolled my eyes at the suggestion because, seriously, who could give up yummy bread?! She gave me some reading material regarding gluten intolerance, insulin resistance and ovulation. I did my reading and research and couldn't believe all I had learned about it. Three different reproductive endocrinologists had never even mentioned this. I decided April 1st, 2014 to go gluten free. It was rough!! Once it was out of my system, it wasn't so bad. Over the next 8 months, I lost approx. 40lbs just from the diet change and had more energy. I feel great! We NEVER expected to actually get pregnant. NEVER!! God is bigger than everything though and proved us wrong! I was on some medication to help regulate my cycle and would still let me ovulate. I was a couple days late and figured my body was just being typical of the last 8-9 years. I always did a pregnancy test to see the negative and move on. Get the thought out of my brain. So, I decided to just see the negative and get it over with. I was actually at work when I tested. I took a test and waited. Then, I think I saw a second line, never have I experienced that! I figured it was my brain playing tricks or I was seeing what I wanted to see. Wait, it was getting darker. Sure enough, two lines! I stood there in the bathroom in shock. My hand over my mouth, shock! I don't have any idea how long I stood there. I snapped out of it and realized I was at work. I had always imagined the cutest ways I would tell Cody I was pregnant if it ever happened. Nope, called him on the phone bawling and told him I was pregnant. I couldn't even wait until I was home. He did not believe me. Literally, did not believe it was true. Lol, he made me buy a test on the way home. When that came back positive, he still didn't believe it. He needed ultrasound proof.
I was told I only had a 3-5% chance of ever conceiving naturally. God performs miracles! As we both reveled in the excitement for that day, a creeping fear snuck in. I only have one fallopian tube and the doctors had told me if I were to ever conceive naturally, 98% chance it would implant in my tube and be an ectopic pregnancy. My excitement turned to fear. I just prayed and relied on the thought that God allowed this miracle to happen and it couldn't end up that way. I actually had an appointment to see my doctor that week so I didn't have to wait too long.
A few days later, I was sitting in my doctors office praying and shaking. I was so scared to be told this was an ectopic pregnancy. She did an ultrasound and the best words left her mouth, "normal intrauterine pregnancy, approx. 4 weeks along". I felt like the weight of the world left my shoulders. I was so so so excited! 7 1/2 years of infertility and finally pregnant. I was floating on a cloud. Fast forward until now, 27 weeks pregnant, knowing it is a little boy and everything going great so far. I feel so incredibly blessed. I always have a lingering fear in the back of my mind though, we lost Olivia at 34 weeks, I try not to think about that but it scares me. I just have faith that God is going to see this through and we are going to have a healthy, chubby baby boy in our arms come July. I can't wait for that moment. Literally, can't even stop smiling thinking about that moment!
Greyson is so excited for a little brother. We talk about the baby all the time and he brings me toys, blankets and things to "give" to the baby. He is so sweet. As we were basking in the excitement of this pregnancy, something else was happening that would turn our life upside down. *sigh*
I had noticed probably around January that Greyson was getting kinda moody. Nothing new for a 2 year old. He just didn't seem like himself at certain times. I would ask Cody if he thought he looked pale, sometimes the answer was yes, sometimes no. After a couple weeks, I noticed my very energetic little boy was taking frequent breaks to lay on the couch to rest. I would ask him if he felt okay and he would just nod yes. He started with on and off fevers and that pale skin tone just wasn't going away. This lasted a few more weeks. I took him to the doctor a couple times thinking he had to have strep throat or a virus. Everything always came back fine. I attributed it to maybe molars coming in. The beginning of March rolled around and he started asking for drinks, a lot. He even started to wake up in the night asking for water. Again, I just figured it was the dry air from winter. In my heart though, I knew something was going on. I would lay awake at night worrying, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. I told myself that I think the worst case scenarios because I'm a nurse. March 9th came and I got him ready for bed. Just a couple hours of sleeping and he started calling out for me. I walked in and he has soaked through his diaper, pajamas and sheets. Odd, he never had done anything like that before. I figured he had too much to drink before bed and changed everything. My gut was churning though, something was wrong. Not even 3 hours later, I'm being called again. Same thing, urinated through his diaper, pajamas and sheets again. As I'm changing him at 2am, he asked for water. After that request, it hits me like a freight train in that moment.....diabetes. I just sat there and let all the puzzle pieces fall together. Moody, periods of fatigue, thirsty, frequent urination. I got him changed and back to bed. I was awake the rest of the night worrying and hoping I was wrong. I worked the next day and talked with the doctor I work for. I grabbed a urine dip strip that tests for a bunch of things but also glucose and ketones, two things that are elevated with diabetes. I got home and tested his urine. Sure enough, my hunch was right. I cried. This isn't something I would ever wish on my child. I took him to the doctor the next day and he had his blood tested which showed extremely elevated levels of glucose (sugar). We were told to immediately go down to Primary Children's Hospital for him to be evaluated. We were there three days. Type 1 Diabetes was the diagnosis. Our stay consisted of lots of finger pokes, insulin injections, intense teaching and lots of tears. The endocrinologist stated if we had waited another 48-72hrs, he would have been in the ICU. I was so thankful in that moment that I was a nurse but more importantly, trusted my motherly instinct. I knew something had been wrong.
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| Once his blood sugar was corrected with insulin, we saw an appetite he has never had before! |
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| Poking dad's finger so he could feel safer getting his finger poked. |
So, what is Type 1 Diabetes? Is it something he got because he is overweight and ate to much sugar? NO!!! Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes are very different and are often lumped into the same category of overconsumption of sugar and poor diet. That is not the case. Type 1 is not reversible, Type 2 can be reversed. Type 1 Diabetes is an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks the beta cells in the pancreas that produce insulin. What happens in a normal functioning pancreas is, we eat, our pancreas secretes the perfect amount of insulin into our blood stream which then allows glucose (also called sugar and the main source of energy our cells use to function) to enter the cell. In T1D (type 1 diabetes), insulin is not produced because the immune system has killed the part of the pancreas that does that. Glucose (sugar) builds up in the blood and has nowhere to go because no insulin has been produced to let it in the cells. Think of insulin as a key to the cell door that allows glucose to enter. With no key, the door can't open and glucose can't go in. As glucose builds up in the blood stream, the body has to find another way to get energy. The body starts to take from the fat and protein in the body. As this happens, ketones build up in the blood as a results of the breakdown of fat/protein. As this builds, the blood becomes acidic and can cause a person to go into a coma. It is called Diabetic Ketoacidosis. I am so thankful we caught things before it got that point.
There is no cure for this, there are no pills for this. The only option is injectable insulin until they find a cure. In theory, we are now Greyson's pancreas. He gets finger pokes 5-7 times daily (1-2 middle of the night checks) to check his glucose level and insulin injections based on the amount of carbs he eats. Too much insulin, you cause his blood sugar to drop and he can go unconscious and have a seizure. Too little insulin, you cause ketones to build up and possibly unconsciousness and coma. If he gets a cold, stomach bug or any kind of sickness, he could end up in the hospital. EVERYTHING affects the blood sugar level. Heat, cold, warm bath water, playing, sickness, tantrums and the list goes on and on. Sometimes, we just have to laugh. It can be so overwhelming. This isn't something you can take lightly and just sort of watch. This is a full time job in itself. I know as time progresses and this becomes second nature, I won't worry as much and maybe be able to let my guard down a little. I recently quit my job to stay at home with him. I can't imagine trusting anyone else to do this at the moment. I know that will change with time as grandparents learn how to manage this also. The other misconception of T1D is Greyson can't eat everything he used to. That is not true. He can eat everything you can eat. Candy, cake, pasta, etc. We just have to dose insulin based on the amount of carbs that are in those things. It definitely is a learning experience but one I will gladly take on for him.
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| This is the best illustration I have seen to describe what it feels like to fight this monster of a disease. I feel so helpless in comparison to it but I am stronger! |
I am so thankful we caught this early and that I have an amazing husband who has jumped right in and given shots and poked tiny fingers. Greyson has struggled understanding why everything is so different now. He is just too young to understand. The blessing in all of this though is he was diagnosed young. He will never know anything different, he will grow up not knowing it can be any other way. He has started gaining weight since diagnosis, energy is back, color is back, speech is better and he acts like he feels good, finally! I would walk through fire for this child and WE WILL BE THE BEST DANG PANCREAS FOR HIM. He is not going to be told he can't do anything because he has this. He is going to thrive and I will make sure of it.
Trials bring you closer to God. I have relied on God so much to keep me calm, lower my worry and anxiety and just give us peace that Greyson is going to rock this disease. We will continue to pray for a cure. Research is currently working on an artificial pancreas but that has been in the works for years. I will keep praying that this happens in Greyson's lifetime. T1D is not going to slow us down.
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| Peeing in the grass. |
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| Rode the entire way to the store like this, silly kid. |
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